@nfact

[chain]

; ==============================================
; Napa182's Updated By Chain 2025 FUNNY NICK FACTS – BUZZEN READY v3
; NO INTERNET | NO SOCKETS | WORKS 100%
; ==============================================

alias -l nfact {
  var %nick = $1
  var %gender = $2

  ; === MALE FACTS ===
  if (%gender == m) {
    var %facts = secretly runs a underground fight club every Friday|was once banned from 3 zoos for feeding the animals pizza|has a PhD in meme theory|can solve a Rubik's cube in 7 seconds blindfolded|once arm-wrestled a bear and won|invented the word "yeet" in 2003|has a tattoo of his own nickname in Comic Sans|can quote every Star Wars movie backwards|sleeps with a nightlight shaped like a lightsaber|believes pineapple belongs on pizza and will die on that hill
  }

  ; === FEMALE FACTS ===
  elseif (%gender == f) {
    var %facts = has a secret lair under her bed full of glitter bombs|can make any outfit look like it cost $10,000|once won a staring contest with a cat|runs a black market for cute stickers|can parallel park a tank|has a playlist for every mood, including "revenge"|taught her phone to say "yas queen" on command|owns 47 shades of lipstick and named them all|can silence a room just by raising one eyebrow|once beat a GPS at navigation
  }

  ; === OTHER / NON-BINARY / NEUTRAL ===
  else {
    var %facts = communicates with squirrels using only clicks|has a pet rock named Kevin and takes it on vacation|can turn any argument into a rap battle|invented a dance move called "The Glitch"|runs on caffeine, chaos, and cosmic vibes|once hacked reality with a paperclip|believes in 7 impossible things before breakfast|has a backup personality just in case|can fold a fitted sheet in under 10 seconds|speaks fluent sarcasm and emoji
  }

  ; Pick random fact & replace $1 with nick
  var %fact = $gettok(%facts, $rand(1, $numtok(%facts, 124)), 124)
  return 10@nfact: 15 $+ %nick  $+ $replace(%fact, $1, 15 $+ %nick $+ )
}

; ==============================================
; TRIGGER: @nfact Nick m/f/o
; ==============================================
on $*:text:/^@nfact\s+(\S+)\s+([mfo])$/iS:#: {
  var %nick = $regml(1)
  var %gender = $lower($regml(2))
  var %chan = #

  if (%nick ison %chan) {
    var %fact = $nfact(%nick, %gender)
    msg %chan %fact
  }
  else {
    notice $nick Sorry, 15 $+ %nick  is not in 15 $+ %chan
  }
}

; ==============================================
; LOAD MESSAGE
; ==============================================
on *:load: {
  echo 12 -a 15Napa182'sUpdated By Chain Funny Nick Facts v3 4(INSTANT • OFFLINE • BUZZEN READY)
  echo 12 -a 14Type: @nfact YourNick m  (or f/o)
  echo -a 14,1(14,1¯15,1¯0,1¯0,1º $+ $chr(171) $+ $chr(164) $+ $chr(88) $+ $chr(167) $+ $chr(199) $+ $chr(174) $+ $chr(238) $+ $chr(254) $+ $chr(116) $+ $chr(48) $+ $chr(174) $+ $chr(167) $+ $chr(88) $+ $chr(164) $+ $chr(187) º0,1¯15,1¯14,1¯) $+ $chr(153)
}